What the Teacher Did Next

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Albert Einstein

It’s easy to blame everyone else when things go wrong.  I’ve been down that road so many times I had to build a little house.  I’ve been known to stay there for days and even weeks at a time.  The sad thing is, I don’t even like it there; it’s dark, damp and moldy and I often end up crying on the cold bathroom floor.  Clearly there are external factors at play in teacher burnout.  If you come and visit my little house one day, we can talk about them for hours.  But last time I visited, I resisted the lure of the cold tiles (the increase in medication might have helped with this) and instead turned my attention to the mirror.  Yes, there are external factors, but if I’m being honest with myself, that isn’t the whole story.  In fact, when I look in that mirror, I find myself asking some tricky questions.

Did I prioritise self-care?

Ummmm well….if by self-care you mean eating a whole packet of Matchmakers during afternoon lessons to ward off hunger, then yes absolutely, but otherwise no, most definitely not.  I made a conscious decision last year not to eat lunch anymore, because I didn’t have time.  I was too busy to eat lunch! In hindsight, nobody is too busy to eat lunch and when I return to work I will make eating lunch my number one priority.

I also neglected to do any exercise because I was too tired.  My husband, in his wisdom, suggested that I might be tired because I wasn’t doing any exercise, but I just shut myself in my little house of blame where I didn’t have to listen to his nonsense.  In hindsight, he may have had a point.

Did I make the most of my downtime?

Errrrrm possibly not.  One Saturday, I wasted 4 hours in my little house, simmering over the fact that I was too busy to spend time in the garden.  I achieved nothing that day, but successfully completed all of my planning before lunch on the Sunday.  In hindsight, I wish I’d taken the time to enjoy everything that Saturday had to offer.

Did I care too much?

Personally, I don’t think it’s possible to care too much about the children in your class, but you need to have firm boundaries in place and know when to switch off.  In hindsight, I didn’t do those children any favours by lying awake worrying all night.  

On the subject of caring too much, I recently read a great blog about Bleeding Heart Syndrome which really resonated with me.  I definitely suffer with this syndrome, although I have been known to misdiagnose myself in the past.  

https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/38868816/posts/1272

Did I over think things?

OK yes…yes I did do that. I do that a lot.  Over analysing throw away comments made by the management team; focusing on negative interactions with parents; beating myself up about poor behaviour (the children’s behaviour, not mine – just to be clear); yes, these are all things I like to do in my spare time.

My book of choice when I slip into overthink mode is Stop Thinking, Start Living: Discover Lifelong Happiness by Richard Carlson.  The message is simple, but it usually sets me back on the right track for a while.

This is by no means an exhaustive list of my mistakes, but I think it’s a good start.  I would be lying if I said I wasn’t going to visit the little house of blame again, and will no doubt invite you to join me there one day. There are numerous external factors which contribute to teacher burnout and we all need to vent sometimes, but in hindsight, I spent a lot of time worrying about things that were beyond my control.  Sometimes it’s empowering to take a good look in the mirror and accept your share of the blame.  Maybe if I try to approach things differently going forward, I might get more favourable results.